just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i came on her dog
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
