A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
