in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
