and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
