wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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