OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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