Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize