Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
