I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
