The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
