Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
