I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
