Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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