i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
