i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize