We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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