my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
