just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize