This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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