You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dick very happy bro
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
