Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
