Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize