im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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