What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
