OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
