I wannas sexs uuuuu
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
