Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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