we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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