508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
well you can't waste a boner
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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