he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
