you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
