Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
