Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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