Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
