The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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