I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
