This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize