in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
