dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its not stalking. its research.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize