He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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