I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
