New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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