Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
