im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
