You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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