i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
