I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize