well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
