In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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