I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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