you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
