is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
