But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
