I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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