i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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