I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
