I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
