Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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