i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
