The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
wow bdsm is so cute
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
